Bringing children into my world really brought home the importance of the everyday process of things. Before Cooper and Eleanor, very few aspects of my life were not result-oriented. It feels sad to admit this. Type this. And because of that gift of children, and all the education that's gone on while raising them, I am now in the throws of a simple project that is revealing one fantastic gift after another during the process of it's creation.
Although there were many more, I'll mention 3 examples of connection just this past week that moved this art piece forward and revealed small epiphanies of clarification for me:
1.) A walk with Ericka (good for the mind).
2.) A listening exercise with Rebecca (good for the spirit).
3.) A morning of loading wood with a stranger, Judy (good for the body).
Actually, each of these served all 3 aspects of the mind-spirit-body connection, but, I thought I'd give each one a specific nod.
First, dear friend Ericka and I talked and walked and spoke of many things. Sentences sometimes didn't quite get completed as we were so quickly on to the next thought. Chile, Rwanda, music, art, memorials of the dead, the disappeared, artists who suffer and create anyway, how to get art made and where to find a little money to help make it happen. On and on, I hardly remember where our feet stepped. But Ericka remembered a paper that a friend of hers wrote on historical memory of traumatic events and how we as individuals or as a people process this or don't, thus living in a recovering state of awareness or historical amnesia.
Well, I read the paper -- a fascinating work stuffed with detailed richness -- and it sealed the necessity of this artwork for me. The importance of 800,000 nails is so clear after reading this. Community art installations, if conceived sensitively, can help individuals feel connected to some whole. some aspect of "the whole." As I read this paper entitled "Amnesia/Countermemory" I also said to myself, "this is the type of research i want to be doing! This is the type of paper i would love to compose and write! So, graduate school will serve me well at this time.
Secondly, we hosted a parenting seminar in our home just last night for the parents of the children currently enrolled in our co-op preschool. Learning the fine skill of listening to our children was really one of the primary focuses of the night. How can we practice listening to them with complete empathy as they experience all the feelings that come up for them in these forming years? At one point, we paired off and held 3 minute listening exercises with a partner.
Rebecca, as lovely as her daughter Anya, sat across from me. For 3 minutes, she listened to me and then we switched roles for 3 more minutes. I recommend this practice highly for partners, friends, parents. I started talking about my project. About how hard it is to ask for help. How I don't wish to take advantage of anyone. Inconvenience anyone. Bother anyone. Yet, when I don't ask for help, I fall back into a vacuum of loneliness and overwhelm and eventually, falter. I worry that, if other people help, somehow, i won't thank them properly enough.
And with Rebecca's keen listening, I felt suddenly like Harry Potter in Book 5 when Luna Lovegood listens to him and helps him realize that he cannot possibly take on "The Dark Lord" alone. He needs his friends. Well, I need my friends and the help of so many if this is going to get pulled off. I cannot and will not work alone.
Actually, if i deny others the chance to formulate this art, I am denying them the opportunity to participate in an act of historical healing and spirit lifting.
Finally, I met someone wonderful today quite unexpectedly. in a moment where i had not asked for help (the lesson hadn't sunk in yet), help was given to me in more ways than one. My pals Beth and Curtis are finishing up a remodel on their house and set aside beautiful wood for me. I needed to do some physical work before settling down at the desk and so, without asking for help, I went over to load up my truck. But Curtis's mom, Judy was there with Beth. Instead of going off with Beth, she said that she'd stick around and help me load the wood into my truck. Now she's 74 and slight but, wow, what a workhorse! Not only was she an angel to do this, but as she inquired about what i was to do with the wood, i learned that she has traveled extensively around the world, especially in Africa. She's been almost everywhere there except Rwanda and Burundi.
So, as we huffed and puffed and she loaded my arms with planks, I got to talk to someone who has seen Africa with her own eyes. My goodness, how the gods and goddesses reveal themselves to me right now.
As Pilar said tonight over a much needed glass of wine with her and her husband David: "I see you as a sponge right now. It is so beautiful." And I do feel like a sponge, wanting to absorb every idea that comes up around this art.
So thank you Ericka, Helene, Rebecca, Judy, Pilar, Sharla, Margie, Jennifer, David, John S, Signe, Meghan, Chris, Karen A., Lisa, Jenn, Curtis, Beth and anyone else who asked me how this is going. This week has been a real inspiration.
In the words of Conor Oberst, "my eyes are wet with clarity."
Next week...how to find the money to pay for the nails.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Monday, December 31, 2007
End of the Year...and Fear
At age 13, I wanted to have stronger arms for playing basketball. My mom had some aerobics hand weights and I decided to build a wood bench in our backyard, for weightlifting. I found some scrap wood. nails. a hammer. i started. the nails didn't make it through the thick wood. the legs were off center. crooked. when i tried to lie down on it, it wobbled pathetically. the bench was a total failure. in my frustration, i think i kicked it over and walked away.
While getting my undergraduate degree in cinema studies, i dreamed of an environmental law degree. From there, i would make environmentally-related documentaries, fusing both interests in one great effort. That never happened.
While working on feature films in a variety of art department-related roles, I wrote feature length screenplays: "The Killing Frost". "Buckshot and Joy". "West of Nature". A handful more. They sit in one plastic bin in our garage, collecting dust.
As 2007 draws to a close, I look forward to this new year and this art project. On the one hand, I am wanting to leave any fear of failure back in 2007. On the other hand, I suppose it's wise to take fear by the hand and dance with it while i move forward with this art project of 800,000 nails. We have all failed at one thing or another. That's part of being human. Of trying things out. As I get older, I see that those things once perceived as failures often were not at all.
And, I have to ask myself: what would failure look like in regards to this art piece?
I have envisioned a huge piece of art and want to take it out of my imagination, three-dimensionalize it by making it real (with my own hands and the hands of others) and share it with a community that's interested in peace...in the much needed constant exploration of the idea of tolerance...in the fight for awareness. So, I think failure for me would mean not being able to get all the wood, all the nails, the space to do this thing. Or that, as i build it, it is as weak and as lopsided and poorly constructed as that bench i tried to make alone when i was 13. Failure would be not getting this into the community to start (or continue) a discussion of ideas. Failure would be not honoring a country whose people have suffered so much.
That being said, I feel like beginning this process has been a remarkable success, in opening my eyes deeper to the political and social climate of present day Rwanda. This subject matter has bestowed to me many fascinating conversations with loved ones. I recently sat with dear friend Danah and her youngest teenage daughter. Over soup and tea and chocolate cake, we looked at the idea of art. How much art, film, literature can be created about the Holocaust of WWII? How much is too much? Is the reminder ever too much? What about other injustices in the world? why don't public schools look more deeply at those as well? Danah and Nina both had wonderful insight about such thoughts. And, just one rich conversation with friends helps me see the value in this idea of 800,000 nails.
So, I guess I'll befriend fear. And failure. Walk with them. Look at them. Converse with them. And what will be, will be.
While getting my undergraduate degree in cinema studies, i dreamed of an environmental law degree. From there, i would make environmentally-related documentaries, fusing both interests in one great effort. That never happened.
While working on feature films in a variety of art department-related roles, I wrote feature length screenplays: "The Killing Frost". "Buckshot and Joy". "West of Nature". A handful more. They sit in one plastic bin in our garage, collecting dust.
As 2007 draws to a close, I look forward to this new year and this art project. On the one hand, I am wanting to leave any fear of failure back in 2007. On the other hand, I suppose it's wise to take fear by the hand and dance with it while i move forward with this art project of 800,000 nails. We have all failed at one thing or another. That's part of being human. Of trying things out. As I get older, I see that those things once perceived as failures often were not at all.
And, I have to ask myself: what would failure look like in regards to this art piece?
I have envisioned a huge piece of art and want to take it out of my imagination, three-dimensionalize it by making it real (with my own hands and the hands of others) and share it with a community that's interested in peace...in the much needed constant exploration of the idea of tolerance...in the fight for awareness. So, I think failure for me would mean not being able to get all the wood, all the nails, the space to do this thing. Or that, as i build it, it is as weak and as lopsided and poorly constructed as that bench i tried to make alone when i was 13. Failure would be not getting this into the community to start (or continue) a discussion of ideas. Failure would be not honoring a country whose people have suffered so much.
That being said, I feel like beginning this process has been a remarkable success, in opening my eyes deeper to the political and social climate of present day Rwanda. This subject matter has bestowed to me many fascinating conversations with loved ones. I recently sat with dear friend Danah and her youngest teenage daughter. Over soup and tea and chocolate cake, we looked at the idea of art. How much art, film, literature can be created about the Holocaust of WWII? How much is too much? Is the reminder ever too much? What about other injustices in the world? why don't public schools look more deeply at those as well? Danah and Nina both had wonderful insight about such thoughts. And, just one rich conversation with friends helps me see the value in this idea of 800,000 nails.
So, I guess I'll befriend fear. And failure. Walk with them. Look at them. Converse with them. And what will be, will be.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Symbols, Scale and Support
Yesterday, I faltered. That's scary because it was one of those days where my level of confidence seemed as deep as the first layer of ice just forming on a late autumn pond. Just the tiniest pressure on it and, crack -- shattered. But, thank goodness, today is a new day. And at Edison, I was rejuvenated with energy by loving people. Deniz, Jennifer, Claudia, Jill, Ericka, Peter, Beth, Martha, etc...thank goodness i got a dose of their presence and often, encouragement. It's like gas in a tank. Jennifer gave me a copy of Philip Gourevitch's "We Wish To Inform You That Tomorrow We Will Be Killed With Our Families: Stories from Rwanda." This has been one of the next books on my list. Would that we all had 5 hours a day to all stop, get a cup of tea and just read, uninterrupted.
Last week, Nery and I discussed symbols and scale of this piece. This came after a lengthy discussion on how our government seems to be moving brilliantly toward a troublesome trend of privatization of everything: medical care, the military, prisons and ultimately, public schools. So upsetting. This country enrages me and I love it passionately, because i can sit in a coffee shop with a friend and talk freely about how enraged i am, without the threat of being arrested or worse.
I told him that, after the calculations of my first nail test, with 150 nails on a 4" x 5' board -- the piece would be over a MILE LONG...in order to accomodate 800,000 nails/spirits.
One mile long. So, the nails will be smaller and much much much more close to one another. Today, I did a test of dots on one square foot space of plywood. with the dots averaging about 1/2" spacing, I fit over 780 dots. That could work. And, the calculation now would scale out to be an art piece of about 1,000 square feet. It could be 10'h x 100' w or 20'h x 50'w. That's a bit more manageable, especially if i design them in connecting 8' sections. This would be for assembly and shipping sake.
Regarding symbols, an earlier blog described how Nery and I talked of the significance of using wood from downed trees. The creation of a wing seems to be feeling really good right now. A wing conjures imagery of flight, freedom, air, height, escape and beauty. Nery had an incredible suggestion, but one which I'm on the fence about. He imagined that the far tips of the feathers on this wing could be machetes. Ouch. Pain was my first feeling when he said that. Then sadness. Then violence. And as brilliantly rich as that idea is, I think that i have to sit on it for a while, because the piece needs to be one of recognition, overwhelm and, ultimately, hope. Or, as a wing and flight also resonates for me -- upliftedness. The mental weight of those blunt instruments may challenge that feeling.
We discussed whether to use 800,000 of the same nail type or vary the sizes so as to represent men, women and children -- people of different ages, sizes. I need to think of that visually and ask: which would be more powerful? i'll take an ongoing poll of that question.
He also suggested, as chris has also, making it a 2-sided structure, with nails on both sides of the wing. I love that idea logistically and spacially, but, there's this part of me that wants to/needs to see all 800,000 nails from one singular vantage point -- in order to really grasp the enormity of what can happen in a country in 100 days. Because, even to this day, I cannot visualize it. And I hope this piece helps people be able to visualize it in some way rather than a sentence on a page.
Another stroke of intuitive thinking on Nery's part occurred when he suggested creating the wing structure first, then nailing it. I had to think about that for a moment. And though I wish I could do it the other way (pound nails on scrap pieces first, then assemble), he's absolutely right. The structure, the shape, must be created first. It will be easier to do so, with no nails protruding from one side. Then, if it's able to be broken down in 8' sections, i can work on smaller pieces during the 100 day nailing process.
Note, if you are someone out there still reading this, I appreciate it!!! My inspirations for today:
The Lion King: Pride Rock On Broadway by Julie Taymor
--this is one of our favorite household art books. I think of it often while making entries in this blog because it's such a wonderful record of the process of Julie Taymor and her stable of amazing artists who came to create such an inspiring piece of work.
Brett & Stev-O
--two former co-workers who i shared many a film experience with. There was never anything that these 2 guys couldn't figure out how to build. And they approached things with confidence, creative urgency and curiosity. And I never saw them begin to build something that they didn't complete. They taught me so much. I have a feeling that i'll be picking up the phone to ask them for advice at some point.
Mary Oliver
--once referred to as "One of the 7 Wonders of Massachusetts", her poetry inspires me more deeply than i ever imagined.
Over and over, i read or listen to her thoughts and, i am reminded of how tiny each of us are and how infinitely huge. Thanks to Chris and Liz for introducing me to her work years ago.
Cooper & Eleanor
--i know my kids love me when they are excited about climbing up somebody's filthy demolition dumpster to find a good piece of wood for me. We now have a garage filling up with beautiful boards, saved from the landfill. When I drag them into a neat pile, I think of the corpse of a tree. The corpse of a body...and i handle them with great care. For in this art, they will live again.
Last week, Nery and I discussed symbols and scale of this piece. This came after a lengthy discussion on how our government seems to be moving brilliantly toward a troublesome trend of privatization of everything: medical care, the military, prisons and ultimately, public schools. So upsetting. This country enrages me and I love it passionately, because i can sit in a coffee shop with a friend and talk freely about how enraged i am, without the threat of being arrested or worse.
I told him that, after the calculations of my first nail test, with 150 nails on a 4" x 5' board -- the piece would be over a MILE LONG...in order to accomodate 800,000 nails/spirits.
One mile long. So, the nails will be smaller and much much much more close to one another. Today, I did a test of dots on one square foot space of plywood. with the dots averaging about 1/2" spacing, I fit over 780 dots. That could work. And, the calculation now would scale out to be an art piece of about 1,000 square feet. It could be 10'h x 100' w or 20'h x 50'w. That's a bit more manageable, especially if i design them in connecting 8' sections. This would be for assembly and shipping sake.
Regarding symbols, an earlier blog described how Nery and I talked of the significance of using wood from downed trees. The creation of a wing seems to be feeling really good right now. A wing conjures imagery of flight, freedom, air, height, escape and beauty. Nery had an incredible suggestion, but one which I'm on the fence about. He imagined that the far tips of the feathers on this wing could be machetes. Ouch. Pain was my first feeling when he said that. Then sadness. Then violence. And as brilliantly rich as that idea is, I think that i have to sit on it for a while, because the piece needs to be one of recognition, overwhelm and, ultimately, hope. Or, as a wing and flight also resonates for me -- upliftedness. The mental weight of those blunt instruments may challenge that feeling.
We discussed whether to use 800,000 of the same nail type or vary the sizes so as to represent men, women and children -- people of different ages, sizes. I need to think of that visually and ask: which would be more powerful? i'll take an ongoing poll of that question.
He also suggested, as chris has also, making it a 2-sided structure, with nails on both sides of the wing. I love that idea logistically and spacially, but, there's this part of me that wants to/needs to see all 800,000 nails from one singular vantage point -- in order to really grasp the enormity of what can happen in a country in 100 days. Because, even to this day, I cannot visualize it. And I hope this piece helps people be able to visualize it in some way rather than a sentence on a page.
Another stroke of intuitive thinking on Nery's part occurred when he suggested creating the wing structure first, then nailing it. I had to think about that for a moment. And though I wish I could do it the other way (pound nails on scrap pieces first, then assemble), he's absolutely right. The structure, the shape, must be created first. It will be easier to do so, with no nails protruding from one side. Then, if it's able to be broken down in 8' sections, i can work on smaller pieces during the 100 day nailing process.
Note, if you are someone out there still reading this, I appreciate it!!! My inspirations for today:
The Lion King: Pride Rock On Broadway by Julie Taymor
--this is one of our favorite household art books. I think of it often while making entries in this blog because it's such a wonderful record of the process of Julie Taymor and her stable of amazing artists who came to create such an inspiring piece of work.
Brett & Stev-O
--two former co-workers who i shared many a film experience with. There was never anything that these 2 guys couldn't figure out how to build. And they approached things with confidence, creative urgency and curiosity. And I never saw them begin to build something that they didn't complete. They taught me so much. I have a feeling that i'll be picking up the phone to ask them for advice at some point.
Mary Oliver
--once referred to as "One of the 7 Wonders of Massachusetts", her poetry inspires me more deeply than i ever imagined.
Over and over, i read or listen to her thoughts and, i am reminded of how tiny each of us are and how infinitely huge. Thanks to Chris and Liz for introducing me to her work years ago.
Cooper & Eleanor
--i know my kids love me when they are excited about climbing up somebody's filthy demolition dumpster to find a good piece of wood for me. We now have a garage filling up with beautiful boards, saved from the landfill. When I drag them into a neat pile, I think of the corpse of a tree. The corpse of a body...and i handle them with great care. For in this art, they will live again.
Friday, November 30, 2007
"Cut The Tall Trees"
Having purposefully avoided Terry George's film "Hotel Rwanda" upon its original theatrical release a few years back, I finally rented it this week. The time had come for me to experience it and face a filmmaker's vision of some of the events of 1994. But, after a scene in which a red cross worker comes back to the hotel from an orphanage in tears because all the Tutsi children had be dragged away before she could get to them...i turned it off. Then of course, there was the pain of watching a loving couple, where the man was Hutu and the wife, Tutsi, look into one another's faces with absolute raw fear of being ripped from one anothers arms. An orphanage cleansed. People dragged out of their front doors...I could not bear it. I have to complete the viewing of that at some point. It's important. Chris has to watch it with me. I can't do it alone.
in one of my earlier blogs, i wrongfully described the film business as a place of "individually-focused" needs. My statement didn't feel accurate, although i have witnessed a host of ego-centric personalities on many a big-budgeted, badly-written studio film. Yes, that exists, but quality filmmaking (like Hotel Rwanda) is the kind of work that I originally developed a deep passion and love for. the art of telling rich stories through moving pictures.
In the film, some of the Hutu-controlled radio broadcasts can be overheard. I've read often of the Tutsis being referred to as "cockroaches". But there were also commands being issued saying "we must cut the tall trees. Cut the tall trees!!" One of the few physical differences between a hutu human and a tutsi human is simply that, the tutsi is a little bit taller.
Earlier in the week, I sat with Edison parent/friend/artist Nery again. Another quality conversation spanning many topics. Over coffee, we spoke of the significance of using wood. the symbol of the tree. Trees represent life. They give life to we humans--clean our air, absorb our pollutants, shade us, shelter us. So, using recycled lumber in the sculpture is a way for some aspect of some trees to live on and breathe life into spirits no longer here.
Eleanor P is a designer/decorator/pal who is the epitome of aesthetics. She had suggested using cut up tree rings to enhance the visual design, instead of just scrap boards of lumber. I tucked that idea in my mental back pocket. And a few days ago, friend deniz emailed me to say that she has a beautiful, large ash tree at their home. it's roots are extremely invasive. she wondered if they eventually had to cut it down, could i use the wood for part of the piece? herein lies an example of 3 more people adding to the concept and meaning of the sculpture.
I've enjoyed sharing this blog with many familiar faces. However, there are some dominant spanish speaking acquaintances at edison who i have yet to share this with, due to my 2nd language inadequacies. I'd like to find a high school or college student who could get some sort of extra credit for translating this blog into spanish.
I feel like i'm presently living my days in a way that genuinely serves my body, mind and spirit quite harmoniously. in the past, some aspect of that triangle has always been out of whack. Too much of one thing, not enough of the other. Absolute deprivation of another. This project is really expanding and challenging my MIND. My family, friends, yoga and reading on meditation and mindfulness richly serve my SPIRIT. And kickboxing strengthens the BODY. It will keep my arms strong for hammering. And last night, we had to do a long series of high, straight kicks on the big bag. So fun. I noticed that when i trained my mind on something, my kicks were 3 times as powerful. I'd kick a machete out of the hand of hatred. Then kick a machete out of the hand of intolerance. Kick a machete out of the hand of discrimination. Kick a machete out of the hand of a shriveled, blackened heart devoid of its last ounce of love. Kick, kick, kick. It was a really satisfying class. Fallen machetes everywhere.
in one of my earlier blogs, i wrongfully described the film business as a place of "individually-focused" needs. My statement didn't feel accurate, although i have witnessed a host of ego-centric personalities on many a big-budgeted, badly-written studio film. Yes, that exists, but quality filmmaking (like Hotel Rwanda) is the kind of work that I originally developed a deep passion and love for. the art of telling rich stories through moving pictures.
In the film, some of the Hutu-controlled radio broadcasts can be overheard. I've read often of the Tutsis being referred to as "cockroaches". But there were also commands being issued saying "we must cut the tall trees. Cut the tall trees!!" One of the few physical differences between a hutu human and a tutsi human is simply that, the tutsi is a little bit taller.
Earlier in the week, I sat with Edison parent/friend/artist Nery again. Another quality conversation spanning many topics. Over coffee, we spoke of the significance of using wood. the symbol of the tree. Trees represent life. They give life to we humans--clean our air, absorb our pollutants, shade us, shelter us. So, using recycled lumber in the sculpture is a way for some aspect of some trees to live on and breathe life into spirits no longer here.
Eleanor P is a designer/decorator/pal who is the epitome of aesthetics. She had suggested using cut up tree rings to enhance the visual design, instead of just scrap boards of lumber. I tucked that idea in my mental back pocket. And a few days ago, friend deniz emailed me to say that she has a beautiful, large ash tree at their home. it's roots are extremely invasive. she wondered if they eventually had to cut it down, could i use the wood for part of the piece? herein lies an example of 3 more people adding to the concept and meaning of the sculpture.
I've enjoyed sharing this blog with many familiar faces. However, there are some dominant spanish speaking acquaintances at edison who i have yet to share this with, due to my 2nd language inadequacies. I'd like to find a high school or college student who could get some sort of extra credit for translating this blog into spanish.
I feel like i'm presently living my days in a way that genuinely serves my body, mind and spirit quite harmoniously. in the past, some aspect of that triangle has always been out of whack. Too much of one thing, not enough of the other. Absolute deprivation of another. This project is really expanding and challenging my MIND. My family, friends, yoga and reading on meditation and mindfulness richly serve my SPIRIT. And kickboxing strengthens the BODY. It will keep my arms strong for hammering. And last night, we had to do a long series of high, straight kicks on the big bag. So fun. I noticed that when i trained my mind on something, my kicks were 3 times as powerful. I'd kick a machete out of the hand of hatred. Then kick a machete out of the hand of intolerance. Kick a machete out of the hand of discrimination. Kick a machete out of the hand of a shriveled, blackened heart devoid of its last ounce of love. Kick, kick, kick. It was a really satisfying class. Fallen machetes everywhere.
Monday, November 26, 2007
"Only Connect"
One of my favorite novels of all time is E.M. Forster's classic Howard's End. On the first page of the book, a phrase is written just under the title. It reads "only connect." This art project is sure to be a work of the collective, not the work of one person. i've found an unused journal in my piles of things that i'm going to start using tonight. in it, i will list the names of every person who has come forth to comment on this idea, support me on this idea, question me on this idea, etc. so many people have given their time and thoughts to the blog and the concept and the feedback has been like an elixir of strength for me.
pilar, karen h, kayren, donna, rosa, sarah, lori, julie, peter, john s, steffi, deniz, erin, rebecca, noah, amanda, danah, lisa, jenn, catherine, jenny...and that's just from the last few days. and, i fear listing everyone here who inspires me, for i do not wish to ever leave one person out by some bit of oversight. so, i begin the thorough book of grateful names. for those names, those individuals, are as much contributors to this art and thought process as i am.
Samantha Power's book is now basically one giant dog-eared text in my hands (and it's a library copy, oops). I am amazed at how many stirring facts and ideas pop off page after page of this massive body of work. Raphael Lemkin, a man of many titles who is credited with actually creating and defining the word "genocide", recognized the creative losses that all of humanity feels when a certain group is eliminated (or attempted to be eliminated) from the planet. how vital creativity is in our existence. in music, poetry, design, science, everyday life, etc. as chris here at home said the other night: "art touches the divine in all of us. it's so necessary."
Danah gave me a copy of Carl Rogers' On Becoming A Person. I turned to a section on the process and necessity for creativity to be nurtured in a society--or else, all of society suffers. His words resonated similarly to those of Lemkin. Again, another example of connection surfaced.
800,000 nails is a work of connection. Of the collective. It seems to already exist and yet, not one nail has been banged.
pilar, karen h, kayren, donna, rosa, sarah, lori, julie, peter, john s, steffi, deniz, erin, rebecca, noah, amanda, danah, lisa, jenn, catherine, jenny...and that's just from the last few days. and, i fear listing everyone here who inspires me, for i do not wish to ever leave one person out by some bit of oversight. so, i begin the thorough book of grateful names. for those names, those individuals, are as much contributors to this art and thought process as i am.
Samantha Power's book is now basically one giant dog-eared text in my hands (and it's a library copy, oops). I am amazed at how many stirring facts and ideas pop off page after page of this massive body of work. Raphael Lemkin, a man of many titles who is credited with actually creating and defining the word "genocide", recognized the creative losses that all of humanity feels when a certain group is eliminated (or attempted to be eliminated) from the planet. how vital creativity is in our existence. in music, poetry, design, science, everyday life, etc. as chris here at home said the other night: "art touches the divine in all of us. it's so necessary."
Danah gave me a copy of Carl Rogers' On Becoming A Person. I turned to a section on the process and necessity for creativity to be nurtured in a society--or else, all of society suffers. His words resonated similarly to those of Lemkin. Again, another example of connection surfaced.
800,000 nails is a work of connection. Of the collective. It seems to already exist and yet, not one nail has been banged.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
berkeley brainstorming
back from spending a magical thanksgiving holiday in berkeley with Canadian friends, mike and maureen and their children. we caught up, explored ideas and exchanged stories while walking among redwoods, sycamores, eucalyptus and california oaks. good wine flowed while we talked of my art project, among many other topics. spending time with them was restorative. mike is the kindest of men: intelligent and sensitive to the core. and maureen's company is almost zen-like. she is a true gentlewoman whose loving nature towards her family and the day is nurturing. contagious.
mike, a professor at the school of public health at Cal, said that one of the interesting facets of the human genome project and the breaking down our dna so miraculously is that they've found that, of all the different global races, cultural facets, skin colors, eye shape, belief systems that set us apart from one another, the actual physical difference in us all is about 1.2 %.
mike, a professor at the school of public health at Cal, said that one of the interesting facets of the human genome project and the breaking down our dna so miraculously is that they've found that, of all the different global races, cultural facets, skin colors, eye shape, belief systems that set us apart from one another, the actual physical difference in us all is about 1.2 %.
we also discussed whether it is wise for me to pound the 800,000 nails by myself, before bringing the assembled piece into the public, for further artistic contribution. i forgot to tell them how much i love challenges of endurance.
next week, nail test #2 will happen, as well as an interview with the dean of humanities at mt. st. mary's college. another meeting with nery and the hunt for a donated work space.
before our trip up north, i received a plethora of supportive emails for this project, with the exception of one. a relative wrote me expressing concern for my interest in this area. "why rwanda?" "why not focus on your own backyard?" "why not focus on the living?" "it's disturbing (why i see my own responsibility in an event such as this)." to all these and more contemplative questions, i say, raise them. feel free to play devil's advocate with me. all questions are good and i will work to be as sensitive to all aspects while, as my friend Jenn said just tonight, raising awareness...which is really the goal here. more than anything...raise awareness and inspire connectedness. that's really it. i hope that so much more comes out of it.
one morning in berkeley, our daughter eleanor and i walked outside enroute to grocery shopping on shattuck street. in front of mike and maureen's house, a moment of stillness was broken by a swift autumn gust of wind. crisp and refreshing. we stared up at a sycamore tree and watched the last of its leaves clinging on and then letting go, twisting, flipping, dancing a final beautiful dance before falling to the ground to their ultimate end--or new journey to become part of the earth again. we tried to catch a leaf here and there. so big. i thanked my mom for giving me keen powers of observation. that's one thing i wish to give cooper and eleanor--strong powers of observation...non-judgmental observation.
Monday, November 19, 2007
cranes and nails
keep thinking of the cranes for peace project that edison parent, margie, brought to our children's school. the powerful nature of it. she had somehow found a list of names of iraqi civilians who had perished in the iraq war that continues to this very day. i remember volunteers attaching a name onto each crane. what a simple way to raise awareness. to honor those whom we do not know and whose lives we cannot imagine from our life experience.
samantha power opens her book with a quote from Abraham Lincoln:
"we --even we here--hold the power, and bear the responsibility."
tonight, margie's efforts and lincoln's words fuel me.
i got to thinking, as i sent this blog out to folks for the first time tonight: "what if someone else sees this? some stranger? and they get the idea to make an art piece like this before me?" yes, that's the ego talking. and then, a wonderful idea came forth. what if another art piece of 800,000 nails were made to honor rwanda? what if 10 more were made? 50 more? one for each state. one for each continent. right on.
i say that there cannot be enough art made to teach us the lessons of global citizenship and awareness and if 10,000 people took this idea, more power to us all, for i live with the cockiness that i had at age 15, when i learned and really read about the holocaust of WWII for the first time. what a rude awakening. i was cocky because i had said to myself, "if i had been alive back then, i would have been vocal. a fighter. i would NEVER have let this happen on my watch. there's no way. how did caring people let this happen? and yet, in 1994, i did. we all did. i have to teach my children something.
i remember looking for the aisle of nails at lincoln hardware. i saw the sign that read "nails". me and my will shortz-loving brain noticed that the letters that make up "nails" also make up the word "slain."
samantha power opens her book with a quote from Abraham Lincoln:
"we --even we here--hold the power, and bear the responsibility."
tonight, margie's efforts and lincoln's words fuel me.
i got to thinking, as i sent this blog out to folks for the first time tonight: "what if someone else sees this? some stranger? and they get the idea to make an art piece like this before me?" yes, that's the ego talking. and then, a wonderful idea came forth. what if another art piece of 800,000 nails were made to honor rwanda? what if 10 more were made? 50 more? one for each state. one for each continent. right on.
i say that there cannot be enough art made to teach us the lessons of global citizenship and awareness and if 10,000 people took this idea, more power to us all, for i live with the cockiness that i had at age 15, when i learned and really read about the holocaust of WWII for the first time. what a rude awakening. i was cocky because i had said to myself, "if i had been alive back then, i would have been vocal. a fighter. i would NEVER have let this happen on my watch. there's no way. how did caring people let this happen? and yet, in 1994, i did. we all did. i have to teach my children something.
i remember looking for the aisle of nails at lincoln hardware. i saw the sign that read "nails". me and my will shortz-loving brain noticed that the letters that make up "nails" also make up the word "slain."
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