Yesterday, I faltered. That's scary because it was one of those days where my level of confidence seemed as deep as the first layer of ice just forming on a late autumn pond. Just the tiniest pressure on it and, crack -- shattered. But, thank goodness, today is a new day. And at Edison, I was rejuvenated with energy by loving people. Deniz, Jennifer, Claudia, Jill, Ericka, Peter, Beth, Martha, etc...thank goodness i got a dose of their presence and often, encouragement. It's like gas in a tank. Jennifer gave me a copy of Philip Gourevitch's "We Wish To Inform You That Tomorrow We Will Be Killed With Our Families: Stories from Rwanda." This has been one of the next books on my list. Would that we all had 5 hours a day to all stop, get a cup of tea and just read, uninterrupted.
Last week, Nery and I discussed symbols and scale of this piece. This came after a lengthy discussion on how our government seems to be moving brilliantly toward a troublesome trend of privatization of everything: medical care, the military, prisons and ultimately, public schools. So upsetting. This country enrages me and I love it passionately, because i can sit in a coffee shop with a friend and talk freely about how enraged i am, without the threat of being arrested or worse.
I told him that, after the calculations of my first nail test, with 150 nails on a 4" x 5' board -- the piece would be over a MILE LONG...in order to accomodate 800,000 nails/spirits.
One mile long. So, the nails will be smaller and much much much more close to one another. Today, I did a test of dots on one square foot space of plywood. with the dots averaging about 1/2" spacing, I fit over 780 dots. That could work. And, the calculation now would scale out to be an art piece of about 1,000 square feet. It could be 10'h x 100' w or 20'h x 50'w. That's a bit more manageable, especially if i design them in connecting 8' sections. This would be for assembly and shipping sake.
Regarding symbols, an earlier blog described how Nery and I talked of the significance of using wood from downed trees. The creation of a wing seems to be feeling really good right now. A wing conjures imagery of flight, freedom, air, height, escape and beauty. Nery had an incredible suggestion, but one which I'm on the fence about. He imagined that the far tips of the feathers on this wing could be machetes. Ouch. Pain was my first feeling when he said that. Then sadness. Then violence. And as brilliantly rich as that idea is, I think that i have to sit on it for a while, because the piece needs to be one of recognition, overwhelm and, ultimately, hope. Or, as a wing and flight also resonates for me -- upliftedness. The mental weight of those blunt instruments may challenge that feeling.
We discussed whether to use 800,000 of the same nail type or vary the sizes so as to represent men, women and children -- people of different ages, sizes. I need to think of that visually and ask: which would be more powerful? i'll take an ongoing poll of that question.
He also suggested, as chris has also, making it a 2-sided structure, with nails on both sides of the wing. I love that idea logistically and spacially, but, there's this part of me that wants to/needs to see all 800,000 nails from one singular vantage point -- in order to really grasp the enormity of what can happen in a country in 100 days. Because, even to this day, I cannot visualize it. And I hope this piece helps people be able to visualize it in some way rather than a sentence on a page.
Another stroke of intuitive thinking on Nery's part occurred when he suggested creating the wing structure first, then nailing it. I had to think about that for a moment. And though I wish I could do it the other way (pound nails on scrap pieces first, then assemble), he's absolutely right. The structure, the shape, must be created first. It will be easier to do so, with no nails protruding from one side. Then, if it's able to be broken down in 8' sections, i can work on smaller pieces during the 100 day nailing process.
Note, if you are someone out there still reading this, I appreciate it!!! My inspirations for today:
The Lion King: Pride Rock On Broadway by Julie Taymor
--this is one of our favorite household art books. I think of it often while making entries in this blog because it's such a wonderful record of the process of Julie Taymor and her stable of amazing artists who came to create such an inspiring piece of work.
Brett & Stev-O
--two former co-workers who i shared many a film experience with. There was never anything that these 2 guys couldn't figure out how to build. And they approached things with confidence, creative urgency and curiosity. And I never saw them begin to build something that they didn't complete. They taught me so much. I have a feeling that i'll be picking up the phone to ask them for advice at some point.
Mary Oliver
--once referred to as "One of the 7 Wonders of Massachusetts", her poetry inspires me more deeply than i ever imagined.
Over and over, i read or listen to her thoughts and, i am reminded of how tiny each of us are and how infinitely huge. Thanks to Chris and Liz for introducing me to her work years ago.
Cooper & Eleanor
--i know my kids love me when they are excited about climbing up somebody's filthy demolition dumpster to find a good piece of wood for me. We now have a garage filling up with beautiful boards, saved from the landfill. When I drag them into a neat pile, I think of the corpse of a tree. The corpse of a body...and i handle them with great care. For in this art, they will live again.
